She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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