I'm going to rape someone's good day.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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