nut hugger
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
