you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
