We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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