Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
