Your dad touched me again.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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