If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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