We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
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Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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