i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
