So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
