I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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