don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
