I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
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I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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