i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
