I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
