Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
