It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize