Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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