I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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