He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
