It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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