I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
