how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
