I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
