How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
