Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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