..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
