and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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