Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
this will be a night to untag.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
