He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
