Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
