how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
