On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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