after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize