Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
