Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
