i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
