Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
