i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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