Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
