I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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