My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
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Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
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i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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