I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
