"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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