3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
