she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
i out mim tonsoeep
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
