I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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