Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
