why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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