yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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