Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
