you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
