I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
