I think i peed on brittanys purse
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
