so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
