On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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