This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
