I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
