i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
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Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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