im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize