but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize