Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
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So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
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