Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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